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God is Faithful
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You know, I firmly believe that God is God of miracles. I know that and I keep reminding myself of it. The song reminds me that yes, we may go through hard times, but God is still there holding us through it. I haven't given up. I am kind of tired of being sick. It's like the enemy is doing his best to make my situation way worse. Well, I not ever turn my back on the One I need most right now. He sees me. He hears me. I believe this is the very last time I will deal with ear infections. I believe that this is the very last time I will have to be sick from an ear infection. I believe that God is going to show Himself strong. I believe that these times are hard and I feel like I am going to drown, but God I will fight to stay afloat. You see, the enemy wants me to freak out. The enemy wants me to doubt God and His abilities. I know that God is my Healer. He has proven that time and time again. I will not go under. I called the dr (ent) this morning and found out that for this type of bacteria infection that I need to take another round of antibiotics. It kind of was like okay, I need it. I will do it. Later on today I will go pick up my stronger antibiotics and take them for the next week. God is still there. God hasn't left me. Regardless of what Satan wants me to believe, God hasn't left me. He holds me. He knows that this suffering will end. I know that in the end all this will be worth it. I will be able to hear better. I think the enemy knows the good things that God has in store for me and is doing his best to block them. You see, what he doesn't know is that he may come at me in one way, but he must flee in seven different directions. I will fight to see this through and when it's finally over I may just have a breakdown. I haven't decided ha! But I know that I'm going to be okay. These past few months have been a real stressor for me. I have gained unnecessary weight. I have doubted myself and my faith. I have struggled so hard with this and knowing that God promised me that I wouldn't ever have a major ear infection again after my last one about 8 years ago. This isn't anywhere near as bad as the last one and for that I know God has given me medicine to keep it from turning into something major. I know that if I didn't take the medicine right then , then yes, my ear would be way worse. Faith has taken me to a new and uncharted place. Hope has given me a sense of purpose. Trust has shown me that God can and will do it. I have been blessed that I do not have to work. I can take this time to rest and heal. The last time I didn't have this luxury. I went to work in severe pain. I was struggling so hard to focus past the pain. I am thankful that God has given me a safe haven to rest and get better. I am going to have surgery. It will restore my hearing. I will also have my hole covered up by a graft. It's a two for one sort of thing and honestly, I keep focusing on the end result. God didn't bring me this far to leave me. When I look back at only one set it was then I knew He carried me. My body is weak. My spirit is exhausted. My mind is restless. My faith hasn't diminished. My hope has been restored. My fight isn't over. I will see my victory in due time. I want you to know this, faith, hope, and trust are what kept and are keeping me going. Had I not had faith, hope, or trust. I do believe that I would have fallen apart. I know who my God is and He is my Healer. I may go through this just to prove to you that God is still faithful. God is still good. God is who He says He is and for that my soul rejoices in the fact that I am safe. Fire is there to strengthen the faith. Fire is there to build me up. Fire is there to show me that with God all things are possible. I may want to wave my white flag. I may want to be over it. I may want God to take it all away, but what is the point of that? I need the fire. I need to be molded. I needed to be stronger. I needed to be brought through this process. I needed to learn to trust. So, in the mess of this post I want you to know that yes, this hurts, but I am okay. Pain is inevitable so is growth. I couldn't see past the pain, but God has and He knows that my life will be completely different after this surgery. I may freak out at first, but that's okay. I will be okay. Through the pain, the darkness, suffering, the endless medicine, and the fire I will be better, faster, and stronger than ever before and for that let the enemy know that I am not giving up. I will see God's promises come to pass. God didn't forget me. God is not a lair. God is watching and waiting. He is good. He is faithful. His love endures forever. So, to you my friend, if you are struggling in anything I want you to know this, it ain't over. Your battle is has yet to begin. For those who are in the fight, don't give up! Your Victor will be there soon! When you have done all you can do, stand still and the Lord your God will raise a standard against your enemy. Have faith and know that the battle is not yours, but the Lord's and all you need to do is trust and believe that God can do it. Have a blessed and beautiful day. Thank you for reading this and I pray that you find encouragement in these words.

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